Rewind just over seven years ago, to when I was a freshman in college. I had dreams of becoming of an elementary art teacher. So my first semester, I took a speech class to get it over with. I absolutely hated it. I hated being the center of attention. I had a fear of what people would think of me and judge me for what I said.
So then and there, I changed my major and avoided public speaking and speaking out what I was thinking at almost all costs.
Now flash forward to where I am today. CGA comes to an end in just under two weeks. As our final assignment, we all had to teach the rest of the class and our teachers about something that we’ve walked through recently… for an hour…
When I first heard about the assignment, all those memories from my freshman speech class came flooding back.
Anxiety, insecurity, fear, any excuse to get out of this…
But then I thought, “How am I going to be a leader if I can’t speak out what’s going on, if I can’t pour out what the Lord is pouring into me?”
I am the only person who is designed exactly like me and there is something that God gave me that he didn’t give to anyone else.
So this past week, I taught my class and teachers on worthiness. It may not have been the best teaching and not everyone might have got some big revelation out of it, but that’s okay.
Because the Lord was speaking through me and I was allowing those around me to see part of the gift that God gave just to me. And I realized that I may have been the one standing in front of everyone, but the focus was not on me but on God and his goodness. The focus of our words should always be on his good and faithful promises.
I’ve come a long way since my freshman year of college. I am not the same person who then struggled with fear and insecurities then. But that does not mean that I don’t still struggle. As we grow more and more intimate with God, the same struggles and issues are going to come up over and over again. Each time, it will go a little deeper and he will reveal more of what the true underlying issue is until he finally frees us! But the main thing that I’ve learned is that God’s opinion of me is far greater than any one person’s opinion.
He doesn’t call me stupid, fearful, or a coward. He calls me a strong, courageous, beautiful daughter who has so much to say and offer the world.
“When you get to place where you understand that love and belonging, your worthiness, is a birthright and not something that you have to earn, anything is possible. “ –Brene Brown
